Photo by: iampeas

Photo by: iampeas

This week I contributed to the “Nine to Five” column in the Globe and Mail, responding to a burning question by an employee whose boss is playing favourites. A couple of online readers interpreted my recommendation to mean that the employee should s*ck up to the boss in order to get his/her contract renewed. (Hint: If that were really what I meant, I would have surely added, “You kids and your ‘healthy work environment’! You’re lucky to have a job!”)

Here it is. What do you think?

Reader Question:  I have been having issues with my manager since before Christmas. I kept my feelings to myself until recently, when I found out that others were having similar issues. In a team of four, my manager and one other team member have become very close, to the point that it often seems as though there are only ever two people in our meetings. It was also evident recently, when the team member in question had a few days off and our manager failed to come into the office to say good morning and check-in.

I feel that my manager’s behaviour presents an impression that she only values one team member’s feedback and advice. It has become so bad that an eight-year veteran of the office resigned unexpectedly a few weeks ago. This is a particular concern, since I am on contract and would like to renew at the end of August, but I feel as though that will be severely hindered if my manager has any say.

How do I raise this issue of team dynamics and make her aware of her behaviour without it being perceived as “petty” and ruffling any feathers?

My Answer:  You want to find a nice way to say to your manager, “You’re playing favourites, everybody knows, and I have proof.” Truth-telling, even delicately worded, is risky. As a coach, I help people clarify their goals and the path to get there; I typically encourage risks. In this case, I’m not convinced it addresses your immediate priority: keeping your job. I agree that a conversation with your manager may improve your working environment, but if the contract ends in August, it nullifies the issue.

Your focus must be proving your value, because it’s being overlooked. Update your manager twice weekly on your work, offer insights and ideas that support her goals, and relay positive feedback from others. Ideally, speak in person and follow up by e-mail. (Bonus points for copying other stakeholders on relevant “wins.”) Granted, it may be uninspiring to launch this one-way campaign, but it’s your best shot to get your contract renewed.

Implementing practices to cement your renewal will have the side effect of strengthening your relationship through frequent connection. If your manager’s behaviour is still subpar, bring it up after a few weeks. Instead of pointing out your manager’s favouritism, make it about you. (Just you, not your colleagues.) Reflect on what you need that you’re not getting – for example, opportunities to contribute in meetings. Brainstorm a whole list. Then choose the items that would have the most impact on how you feel about work. Explain to your manager with an optimistic smile how these changes can help the team and also why it’s important to you.

***
Please allow me to further clarify: No one should have to suffer in a demoralizing work situation. I’m simply suggesting the employee be cognizant of the order of operations in trying to solve the problem. First, if you believe positive change is possible, solidify the job by shining a light on contributions that matter from the manager’s perspective. Second, give the job a fair shot by getting clear on what’s missing and asking for what you want. Third, reassess your progress and employment options after a couple of months.

This is not about rolling over and conceding to do whatever makes the manager happy. That would be entirely giving up power. Rather, this approach is about fully embracing the power this brave individual does have in the situation.

Photo by: warriorwoman531

Photo by: warriorwoman531

The more senior one gets in an organization, the more closely one is observed. Your people make meaning out of everything you say and do, to emulate you and dutifully follow your lead, or to strategically oppose you. At the Executive level in particular, the way you act is a careful balancing act that requires your constant attention.

A few examples of important leadership attributes that must be present, but also balanced, in an effective leader:

Ambition / Humility

Use your smarts to get where you want to go, but acknowledge that luck and the hard work of others plays a significant role in your success. (I just learned about the term “Humbition” in an article by the Frances Hesselbein Leadership Institute.)

Courage / Consideration

Speak the truth boldly, but with awareness of the feelings and perspectives of all stakeholders.

Independence / Collaboration

Don’t hesitate to do it yourself and move things along quickly, but identify where the richness of a group effort is an asset.

Looking Forward / Looking Back

Create a compelling vision unclouded by outdated paradigms, but don’t ignore the wisdom history has to offer.

Making Fact-Based Cases / Using your Intuition

Sometimes you “just know”…but do realize it’s a lot to ask others to follow your hunch.

If each one of the above “opposites” represent two ends of a spectrum, where would you put yourself on each one?

 

 

Photo by: Dyanna Hyde

Photo by: Dyanna Hyde

Last night, I was watching one of those addictive reality shows that gets you guessing about the value of “one person’s junk”. The B-plot of the episode of this particular show, set in a pawn shop, was about issues the owner was having with his employees. Apparently, they were cheating when it came to clocking in and out; they sometimes had their peers do it for them. The owner needed to find a way to change this behaviour so he wasn’t paying employees for work they weren’t really doing.

“This is interesting”, I thought. And so I sat waiting to see how they would acknowledge the issue of disengaged employees and work to create more loyalty and buy-in among the group.

What did they end up doing? They implemented an impossible-to-cheat high-tech thumbprint clock-in system. The son of the owner got big kudos for this “great idea”. Now, I don’t claim to know anything about the pawn shop business, but I do know that people are people.  This new system screams:  “We don’t trust you AT ALL. EVER!” What affect do you think that will have long-term on their work behaviour?

It would have been much more complex to deal with the real issue: the employees are just not that into their work. This is not a quick-fix issue, but it’s not an unsolvable one, either.

Here’s a tool would have helped: The Gallup Organization’s “12 Elements of Engagement”. Highly engaged employees report the following:

1. I know what is expected of me at work.
2. I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right.
3. At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day.
4. In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good work.
5. My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.
6. There is someone at work who encourages my development.
7. At work, my opinions seem to count.
8. The mission or purpose of my company makes me feel my job is important.
9. My associates or fellow employees are committed to doing quality work.
10. I have a best friend at work.
11. In the last six months, someone at work has talked to me about my progress.
12. This last year, I have had opportunities at work to learn and grow.

Are these elements true for your people? If you’re not sure, I invite you to ask! Then discuss, brainstorm, advise, share, coach, adjust your behaviour, advocate for change…..whatever might help move them closer to the target.

And what about for YOU at work? If you’re feeling “eh” about your job, perhaps this list will help you to put your finger on what more you need from your manager or your organization.

graph

Thought I’d share this interesting data from Hay Group (illustrated by Harvard Business Review) as a follow-up to my previous posting on gender differences.

This chart shows an important way in which the genders are the SAME.  Have a look at the bottom line of the bar graph: Men and women are both pretty weak when it comes to self-awareness. (As the positive person I am, I’d love to have a fact here about where both genders excel, but I don’t have one at my fingertips. E-mail me if you can share something worth celebrating!)

Anyhow, my point: This is a classic case of “you don’t know what you don’t know.” This is why I believe coaching is becoming an increasingly popular tool for personal and professional growth. Through powerful questions and keen observation, Coaches act as a mirror for that blind spot. Coaches help you to understand yourself better – your style, your values, your strengths, your motivations – and as a result design (together) the perfect way for you to get where you want to go.

It makes improving easier – fun, even – when you have a really clear idea of who you are and where you’re starting from.

 

Photo by DebMomOf3

Photo by DebMomOf3

An article by the Degroote School of Business referencing a new study,  says that corporations with women on their Boards of Directors do better because of women’s cooperative approach to decision-making. Although the reporter decided to use the blatantly sexist title, “Women Make Better Decisions than Men”, I believe the point is that there’s a huge advantage to gender-balanced leadership.

It’s not the first time it’s been shown that a female presence in such influential positions is linked to a better performance for a company. This article refers back to several studies, pointing out that women on Boards is linked to significantly higher return on equity, return on invested capital and return on sales for organizations, and it lowers the organization’s risk of bankruptcy.

Clearly, women can confidently hold their own around the Boardroom table, and ensure that their valuable experience and knowledge are factored into important decisions. So why is it that when it comes to advocating for themselves, they (and I’ll include myself here– “we”) so often tip-toe around it or back down?

I witness this phenomenon among my professional female coaching clients. They don’t ask for the raise, or if they do, they agonize over it and then make a conservative request. They don’t ask for additional resources before they’re desperate, and they aren’t the ones who ask to sit in on the meeting they weren’t invited to. And now I’m going to back up at least one of my generalizations with research: In the fabulous book “Ask for It” (by Babcock and Laschever) – the title of which reveals what they think women should do more of! – there’s a study that concludes: “Women can often accurately assess the value of a task as long as it’s being performed by someone else. It’s when they’re trying to calculate the value of their own work that self-doubt swoops in.” (The men didn’t demonstrate the same discrepancy.) What I have no doubt about it that this behaviour can affect women getting what they want in many areas of our lives, not just in business.

We have proven we’re good. And the men, the women, the whole population knows this — it’s 2013 for goodness sake! Yes, there are some barriers for the female population, but we’re not walking through all the ones that are broken down already. Something holds us back when we’re working to forward our own agendas. It’s slightly different for each of us, but as the “Ask for It” book points to, it’s something in the world of “self-doubt”. Everyone reading this might have a theory as to why this is the case, but as a Coach, my orientation is to take action versus seeking to justify the circumstances.

Ladies, let’s own this. When it comes to hesitation around building our hard-earned careers and businesses let’s just “build a bridge and get over it.” I’m not usually this blunt, but I feel justified because I’m speaking to myself here, too: let’s make sure we use our innate abilities and specialized skills to work for ourselves as well as for others. And it doesn’t have to be difficult: We know we have a blind spot, so it’s our responsibility to check it.

For the men reading this, a special request: please call us on it if you see us deflecting professional kudos, ducking around the spotlight, hesitating to apply for the promotion/ respond to the RFP, or taking on too much when we should be asking for help. We know we have your support and will try not to be our own worst enemy.

By TW-Images

Photo by TW-Images

When I say “network” (as in the noun), what do you think of? Most people immediately take a mental inventory of their level of popularity and come up with something like: “how many people like me and can help me out when I need it?”

The way I define a healthy professional network is much different. Most importantly, it’s not just something you assess and access as needed. That’s like saying cultivating a community in your personal life is optional. We all need a place that we fit, feel comfortable, needed and supported.

The necessity of this place in your professional life is not any different. And the way I see it, there are three key connections every single professional should have in order to create it:

1) A mentor. Find someone who you want to emulate and with whom you feel comfortable. Work out a way to have conversations centered around asking for advice. You might ask about what you have to look forward to in your role, gather wisdom around dealing with tricky situations, or inquire as to what they think of you and your work. There’s no rule that it has to be a formal mentor-mentee relationship, or that you have to label it at all. It can be consistent or on a once-in-a-while basis. As long as it is designed to work for both of you.

2) A loyal peer. Identify someone at your level or in a similar role – either inside or outside your organization – that you get along with, respect and are not in competition with. Become a resource for each other. Pool knowledge, compare experiences, offer one another observations, share new learning and brainstorm around challenges. Not only will it help you do your work faster and better, the camaraderie will offer you support and additional perspective.

3) A protégé. Give your time to someone who looks up to you; someone in whom you believe. Being generous with advice and guidance will feel meaningful and will make you feel great about the skills and experience you’ve amassed over your career.

A network with these types of connections is one you truly belong to, as you take an active role in a creating and maintaining these valuable professional relationships. Take a critical look at your current network to make sure you’ve covered your bases, and then continue to strengthen it by thoughtfully building and evolving within each category. That’s how I define “networking”.