One of the things I love the most about coaching is that each conversation is something entirely new.  In the process of relating to my clients, and helping them relate to themselves in a different way, I have palpable learning moments again and again.

What’s common among my experiences is sitting across the table from individuals who have a strong desire to be themselves, have a great impact on their world and perform at a level of which their truest self can be proud.

I’ve also started to see trends among the new things my clients have invited into their lives to support positive change.  In other words, things that make life easier while on their way to big things.

Here’s a sampling of “What’s New” according to my observations:

The telephone is the new technology
Break through the clutter by calling. That’s right! The phone! Virtual teams are in, but it doesn’t mean that relating in real time is out. Connection to your team is fundamental as a leader, and hearing someone’s voice can be as personal as shaking their hand. Not to mention how much ground you can cover in a short conversation.

Brunch is the new dinner
Socializing on the weekend is important to keep ties with those in your personal life. Weekend dinners often take a toll on the credit card, the liver and your precious sleeping hours. Seems like brunch is gaining ground because it’s smart, and fun, and, well, there are waffles.

Coaching is the new training
My clients are spending PD dollars on coaching. And they’re doing it for their teams. As you can imagine, I’ve had the business case for coaching memorized for years, but I think it’s happening more and more now because as people experience coaching, they let others know just how impactful it can be. They learn about themselves during the journey in a way they can’t in a classroom, and it’s something they have for life.

Renting is the new buying
This may be a “Toronto” thing, but the housing market is still ridiculous, and even accomplished professionals with salaries that are nothing to sniff at are choosing to rent housing. For now, anyway. “Who made this rule that everyone needs to own property?” is the new top-of-mind question. (And suddenly they have permission to stop burning hours on MLS).

Sitting is the new smoking
There’s an acceptable new trend around escaping to stretch one’s legs, have a catch-up meeting while walking, ordering standing desks (check out this standing-only office! http://bit.ly/1waysci ) and having innovative contests at work that involve pedometers. It’s not just the latest HR thing. Leaders are choosing to set great examples. 

Entrepreneurship is the new corner office
Want to eventually do your own thing? You’re definitely not alone. There’s an excitement around creativity and possibility in discussing entrepreneurship that is often even more powerful than talking about C-suite ambitions.

Meditation is the new exercise
I’ll tell you a secret: a bunch of those folks on the subway with their earbuds in are listening to guided meditations, calming nature sounds, or nothing at all. They’re paying attention to what’s going on for them in the moment, and it will help reduce their stress level, manage their emotions, increase their focus and their creativity. Looking for a very down-to-earth way to get started? Try the “Headspace” app: http://bit.ly/Wjqnnq

“Orange is the New Black”.
This and other addictive TV series are taking over! But the trend’s a positive one: people can control when this downtime is, and be super satisfied when they sit down instead of channel surfing. Allowing for total downtime and admitting it is gaining acceptance. “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time”, as they say.

Go ahead – try something new today!

 

Reposted from the Globe and Mail’s “Nine To Five” advice column

Reader Question:
I was fired from a job over four years ago. I was mortified. I have a propensity to assume responsibility when things go wrong, so I declined my union’s offer to challenge the termination. However, I have struggled with it, emotionally and job-wise, ever since.

A career counsellor advised me to be honest about being terminated, saying a company that hires me can legally fire me if I am not upfront and they find out later that I “lied” on my application. It’s taken four years to even form the words “I was fired.” But I followed her advice.

I have obtained work since my termination, and in all three jobs the gap in my employment history was a non-issue.

However, I am currently looking for work, and I am having no success. I continue to come back to the anomaly on my résumé. A psychologist recently advised me to remove that job because it only brought attention to the gap. It was a low-level position, and not in my profession.

In half of my recent interviews, the gap has come up. In this competitive employment market I feel that this blight on my résumé is overshadowing all my good experiences, and my positive references and letters of recommendation.

How do I get employers to stop focusing on what I’ve done wrong and start focusing on what I’ve done right? Is it a “lie” to remove that job from my résumé?

My Answer:
If you walk into an interview focused on the gap, people will sense it. A voice in your head screaming, “You’re doomed. You’ll never get a good job again,” limits your ability to present your best side.

Your biggest challenge is to change your inner narrative. Identify the thoughts and beliefs about yourself and the termination that you would like to let go of, and write them down. When you’re ready, read them out loud and physically let go of what’s holding you back by tearing up the paper. This can be incredibly powerful.

In parallel, you get to create a story for yourself and the world that is both truthful and positive.

You have a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate humility and resilience to prospective employers. What did you learn about being dismissed from your job that will serve you well in future roles? How have you been resourceful during this time in order to pay the bills?

You offer solid professional experience, and others can vouch for you. Unfortunately, it’s clouded by negative emotions that you must face head on.

Here’s a fresh perspective: Interviewers often ask you to “describe a time you failed.” It’s designed to identify self-awareness, ability to learn from mistakes and uncover how you handle tough circumstances. Practice a succinct answer that conveys these strengths and feels authentic. Consider a question about your employment gap as your time to shine.

We don’t get enough sleep. That’s me a lot of the time, and likely you.

If you don’t agree with me now, I’ll ask you again when your alarm goes off tomorrow morning. 😉

A 2013 Gallop study shows that only 59% of Americans are getting the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep compared to 84% in 1942. My personal theory is that all our “awesome” technology has given us the warped impression that we can, with just a dozen or so more clicks, get another small handful of things done in a few short minutes. We know it’s a lie, because we’ll get pulled into something we didn’t mean to get into; a temptation that gets harder to resist when we’re more tired. On top of that, science says the blue light of the screen suppresses melatonin, the hormone released to trigger sleep. And so the cycle is perpetuated.

For me, even if my to-dos are tied up with a bow, there’s always something more appealing than sleep unless I’m cross-eyed with fatigue.

It’s nice to carve out a little extra time in the morning, too – we might get up just a bit earlier to get a jump on the day. Fast Company did a little experiment and asked people to get up two hours earlier each day and see what happened. There were reports of people feeling like they were given a gift of extra “me time” in the morning.

Why not just sleep less then if all the waking-hours activity is so compelling?

Julia Kirby’s HBR blog post “Change the World and Get to Bed by 10:00”, speaks to the fact that even a moderate amount of sleep depravation affects performance the same as drinking alcohol. She says, “If you’re coming to work consistently sleep-deprived you’re basically functioning drunk.”

There’s no question, it doesn’t serve us to electively walk through our lives cognitively impaired!

Why else put the hours into sleep?

• If you’re stressed: It helps to decrease stress and anxiety
• If you’re sad: It’s been shown to decrease risk of depression.
• If you’re stuck: It can help you gain clarity around a tough decision (there’s something to the expression “let me sleep on it.”)
• If you’re overloaded: It helps you process and retain new memories and skills.
• If you want a long, healthy life: It can help you avoid serious diseases like diabetes and cancer and actually contribute to an increased lifespan.

It’s so often a blind spot. One of the questions I ask new clients is about their current level of stress and what they do to decrease it. The highly stressed high-achievers who have taken charge of the matter make sure to exercise and eat well, and protect some family time. I don’t hear that much from high-powered people about tucking in early.

My challenge to you: JUST PICK ONE of the following good-sleep habits to take a step to healthier sleep and all its benefits…

1. Go to bed at night when you’re tired. The first step is paying attention to what your body’s asking you for.
2. Take a nap on the weekend when you’re tired. You might find it’s the ultimate weekend treat!
3. Go screen-free 2 hours before your normal bedtime. It’s what they recommend you do so that the blue light doesn’t mess with the release of melatonin. (I’m going to assign this one the highest level of difficulty).
4. Get a good dose of bright light (preferably sunlight) during the day. This helps you be more “up” during the day and will contribute to better sleep at night.
5. Wake up at the same time everyday, even on the weekend. You can’t make up sleep, so don’t even try. Hopefully, this will motivate you to try #1 on the list.
6. Try one of the newest techno-gadgets in the sleep industry (start here: http://dailyburn.com/life/tech/gadgets-for-better-sleep/) There’s nothing like the novelty of a new app to kick-start a new habit.

G’night!